Tiffany Martin (EN) : Sage-femme et mentor. Une vision éclairée, puissance et présence du savoir-être (EN)

Lara Valentin :

I’m very happy to receive Tiffany Martin on my podcast. I want to present her, but I have so many things to say that I don’t know how or where to begin. So I’ll let her introduce herself. Tiffany, can you tell us who you are and give us some information about your different careers, please?

Tiffany Martin :

Absolutely. Thank you again, I’m really excited to be part of this. My name is Tiffany Martin, and I have a wonderful family here in Alabama, in the South of the United States. I’ve been married for 26 years, my daughter is 23, and my son is 18. I’m now entering the stage of parenting young adults, which is a very special moment in life.

Professionally, I’ve spent several years in corporate America as well as in nonprofit business management and directorship. I’ve also worked in the music and modeling industries. Later, I homeschooled my children, which required me to step away from those fields for a while.

In the last four years, I’ve entered the world of maternity services as a doula and midwife. I’m really excited about this shift in my career and focus because I never imagined I would be doing that.

Lara Valentin :

You explained that you’ve worked in different industries, including medicine. It’s impressive, but I think that because of certain behaviors or personal qualities, you were able to move successfully between these fields. In each job, we need to know how to be, how to connect with people, how to talk with them. Since you now have many perspectives from different areas, what do you think about how to “be” in general?

Tiffany Martin :

Across the span of my life so far, in all the areas I’ve served or worked in, it really comes down to being true and honest, and presenting yourself as someone who can be trusted. You must understand that your presence means something, and the value you bring to a space will influence the people around you, whether you intend to or not. It’s about being authentic and recognizing the power that comes with simply being yourself.

Lara Valentin :

So, even in 2025, do you think we need to act and dress a certain way or use a certain vocabulary? Is professional image still important, or can we sometimes just be natural and still succeed because of our qualifications?

Tiffany Martin :

I believe that who you are on the inside will always show, no matter what you wear or the situation. At the same time, I do think it’s important to present yourself professionally in most environments.

We’re at a point in society where many people aren’t taking things seriously anymore. They’re not presenting themselves seriously. That doesn’t mean we have to be stiff, but there should be an intentionality in how we show that we take what we do seriously and that we value it. I see a trend of carelessness — a mindset that says, “It doesn’t matter what I say, it doesn’t matter how I look, people just have to accept me.” And I don’t think that’s true.

Lara Valentin :

Do you think it’s your personal point of view, or do many people in the US think the same way? Is it different depending on the field — like music, medicine, or corporate work? Or do you sometimes feel different from others because your expectations are not the same as the group?

Tiffany Martin :

Great question. I’d say my point of view comes more from personal conviction than general consensus, but I believe many people from my generation would agree with me. There’s definitely a generational and cultural shift that creates a distinction between those who think like I do and those who don’t.

When I was in the music industry, I was much younger, and it was expected that you presented yourself a certain way to be considered a worthwhile investment for record labels or publishing deals. You had to look and speak a certain way, and know enough not to be misled.

When I moved into corporate America, it was the same: knowing who you’re speaking to, how to communicate, and how to show that you understand your own value. The same applied when I was homeschooling — even though at home I could be relaxed, when I went out, I still needed to present myself differently.

Now, as a doula and part of a midwifery team, if I walk into a hospital, I have to look the part. Otherwise, I won’t be taken seriously and might not be able to advocate effectively for my clients.

So for me, your presence is power. How you see and value yourself should be reflected outwardly, because it affects how you build relationships and how people perceive you. Sometimes, that perception can even impact someone’s life — for example, in my work supporting mothers during childbirth, how I present myself can affect how doctors and nurses treat my client.

Lara Valentin :

I have a lot of questions, but one of them is almost philosophical. Do you think good behavior is more a matter of education or intelligence, or both? You are a mentor, so for you, knowing how to behave — is it an intellectual skill or an educational one?

Tiffany Martin :

That’s a great question. I believe it’s mainly an education issue. I say that because you don’t know what you don’t know until someone helps you see a better way.

Even though we have access to so much knowledge through technology and media, people often lack the connection to why things matter — the relational and moral context that helps us make better decisions about behavior and communication.

I grew up in the South, here in the States, where there’s a strong tradition of teaching good manners and respect. From a young age, children are taught how to behave, especially around adults.

Lara Valentin :

But now, in 2025, many people say, “I want to be free, I want to do what I want, where I want, with everyone.” Is it the same in Alabama?

Tiffany Martin :

It happens here too, but Alabama is still relatively slow to adopt that mindset. There’s still a moral core — a fabric of values about manners and respect that remains strong. Families here often include several generations under one roof, and that helps preserve traditional ways of teaching children how to act.

Lara Valentin :

In my education, parents often taught us how to behave without giving explanations — “You have to do it because it’s right.” Sometimes it was hard to accept, but everyone around us did the same, so it was fine. Now, people want explanations, and sometimes that creates international conflicts of values. Do you think in Alabama this new mindset creates tension, or is it just a small wave you can adapt to?

Tiffany Martin :

It definitely creates conflict, especially between generations. In the last five to seven years, there’s been a growing belief that nothing matters anymore — that people can do, say, and look however they want, and everyone else should just accept it.

Lara Valentin :

Do you think people now try to explain more than before? Or is it still older people telling younger people what to do without discussion?

Tiffany Martin :

There are more conversations now, but I also think we’ve become a society that isolates itself into small groups. People are more comfortable surrounding themselves only with those who agree with them. The events of 2020 made this even stronger — many people focused only on themselves and their families.

So yes, there’s more dialogue, but also more division. And because of that, I think standards have been lowered. We need to raise them again. There’s a lot of good in the “old school” way — old school is good school.

Lara Valentin :

Yes, I think we share that point of view. Both of us want to teach and transmit those values.

Tiffany Martin :

Exactly.

Lara Valentin :

Do you have a story or an anecdote that illustrates how good or bad manners can impact a person’s life?

Tiffany Martin :

Yes. When I was a senior at the University of Memphis, I worked with the Black Student Association and the International Student Affairs Office. I met many freshmen there. One young woman I met became pregnant within her first two months at school.

She confided in me, and I started observing what had happened. I realized there was a pattern: some young men were taking advantage of freshmen girls who dressed or behaved in a way that made them look vulnerable. They were often loud, used profanity, partied a lot, and attracted the wrong attention.

I saw how one bad decision or lack of awareness could change a young woman’s life. So I decided to act. I went to the Dean of Student Affairs and created an organization called Elite. Its purpose was to mentor freshman girls — to teach them about self-respect, appropriate behavior, and how their actions, words, and appearance could affect their safety and their future.

Lara Valentin :

That’s very interesting. But what do you think feminists would say about that? Some might respond, “I can do what I want. I can wear what I want. Men should control themselves. It’s my right to dress as I please.” And they might ask, “Why focus on educating women instead of teaching men not to act like predators?”

Tiffany Martin :

That’s a very good question. I absolutely believe there’s no excuse for a man to assault, disrespect, or abuse anyone, especially a woman. Men must be accountable for their actions.

At the same time, women also need to be responsible stewards of their own presence and bodies. We are beautifully designed, and that beauty has power. With power comes responsibility. It’s not about shame or restriction, it’s about wisdom and protection.

Unfortunately, some young men are not healthy or respectful. So we have to be aware of the risks in our environment. It’s not about giving up our freedom; it’s about recognizing reality. We don’t wave a gun in public because it attracts danger — the same principle applies here.

Lara Valentin :

I agree. We have to be aware of what we can or can’t change, and protect ourselves from bad situations. It’s hard, but it’s true. I think it’s interesting that you didn’t just criticize — you created a solution to help. Congratulations on that.

Tiffany Martin :

Thank you. For me, it’s all about valuing people. Sadly, our society is losing that sense of value. We see each other more as objects than as human beings. When that happens, we must raise awareness, take responsibility, and act differently.

Lara Valentin :

We’ve talked about different parts of your journey and career, but how do you now share or teach good behavior?

Tiffany Martin :

Even though I work in maternity care, I still mentor young women. I founded a nonprofit called The Dandelion House here in Huntsville, Alabama. One of our programs is Wise Wife University and another is WOVEN — Women of Virtue Empowered Now.

Through these programs, we teach what it means to be a virtuous woman and how to rethink one’s image and self-worth.

Lara Valentin :

You mention words like “university,” “virtue,” “values,” and “God.” I want to be sure I understood correctly — are your programs faith-based?

Tiffany Martin :

Yes, they are faith-based, but we also teach universal principles. Even without religion, most people can recognize what’s right and what’s not. We all have a conscience that tells us when something feels wrong.

When I go into public high schools, I don’t speak directly about faith, but I use facts and statistics to show the consequences of behavior. Whether or not you’re religious, the results are the same.

Lara Valentin :

So faith, culture, and education all mix together like ingredients in a bowl — faith is the base, and culture adds flavor.

Tiffany Martin :

Exactly. What we really focus on is relationship. Many young women today have never had an older woman to guide them. Sometimes their mothers are only ten years older than they are, so there’s a big knowledge gap.

We try to fill that gap by listening, understanding their influences, and helping them reexamine their way of thinking. One of my students, for example, used to get in trouble at school every day for the way she spoke. It took years of mentoring, but she finally realized that her words were shaping her results.

Lara Valentin :

So you walk beside them, hand in hand. It’s both educational and emotional.

Tiffany Martin :

Exactly. It’s about showing them they’re not alone, helping them analyze their behavior, and guiding them toward better choices.

Lara Valentin :

That’s wonderful. You’ve done a lot, and your approach combines strength, love, and purpose. I have one last question: if you had to share one key value or sentence that represents you, what would it be?

Tiffany Martin :

“What you listen to and watch becomes you.”

We often underestimate how much we absorb from what we see and hear. Every image, every song, every word we consume shapes us. Our brains record it all, and over time it shows up in our behavior and thoughts.

As a musician, I always remembered that whatever I said on record could influence someone for life. I wanted to make sure my words built people up, not led them astray.

So I encourage everyone to guard their eyes, their ears, and their mouth — because what goes in and what comes out will define who we become.

Lara Valentin :

That’s such a powerful way to see life. I completely agree. We must choose what we allow into our lives.

Tiffany Martin :

Exactly. It’s like food — if you keep eating donuts, sooner or later you’ll see the result. The same goes for what we feed our minds and hearts.

Lara Valentin :

Your life, your experiences, and your love for others show how much you care about protecting, guiding, and uplifting people. You’ve built something solid, like a rock, based on faith, care, and purpose. Thank you, Tiffany.

Tiffany Martin :

Thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure.

Lara Valentin :

And thank you to our listeners for joining us on this podcast. I hope you enjoyed our conversation and learned from it.

Tiffany Martin :

Thank you again.