Carmen Vaughn (EN): Leadership, Posture Elegance et éducation
Lara Valentin
Hello Carmen, I'm very happy to have you on my podcast. La Voix d'OR.RA. It's a podcast about elegance and professional behaviors. So my first question, it's about you. Could you introduce yourself for our audience, please?
Carmen Vaughn
Absolutely. First of all, it's my honor to be on your podcast because you are the representation of elegance. Yes, you are. I'm going to make it known to everyone. Okay. My name is Carmen Vaughn. I am an author. I'm very proud of my first book that I've written in 2024. It's called God's Intervention. It's about all kinds of situations that deal with behavior and professionalism and elegance. I have a beautiful family. I got two amazing adult daughters. Making sure they know I said adult daughters. They're not children anymore. And I also, I'm a former business owner of design, interior design, fashion design. And I also did some professional modeling. I did commercials, international. magazine layout, etc. Those were the days.
Lara Valentin
You did so much in different types of areas.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes, currently I'm in Spain with my family enjoying the Mediterranean Sea and the beautiful people of Spain. Yes, that's Carmen in a nutshell.
Lara Valentin
You're blessed.
Carmen Vaughn
Thank you, I am. Thank you very much.
Lara Valentin
I want you to join my podcast. because of you, because of yourself, and because of what you did in your life. For me, you are the type of person who wants to share and who wants to teach good things and share good vibes to help us grow in our life. That's why you are here with me. And I want to... to ask you in your opinions what does good manners or savoir vivre means today and what it's important for you well
Carmen Vaughn
i would love to speak french and beautifully and you do i'm not going to try to repeat that beautiful word you said in french but you're very much correct It is extremely important and what you do in teaching your classes is extremely important. In my opinion, today it is even more necessary and needed because those are old, people see this old ways of doing things when in actuality we need those because in my opinion, how you present yourself is important. So when people see you, you are sending a message before you open your mouth. So your mannerisms, what you say, how you say it, says something about you. So what message are you sending? So, yes, it's very important today because when you see a lot of what's going on, especially for women, it's an art that's lost in our daily lives that's important that we should. hold on to to exemplify especially that's a very important part of women and how they want to present themselves and not follow trends
Lara Valentin
and um if you had some things to an experience of life to share with us we can um put light on what you mean what type of what experiences um It could be. They could be ?
Carmen Vaughn
Yes. One of my favorite stories is actually in my book. It was a group home. And I was a counselor for, you know, teenage girls. And I use etiquette through fashion, which deals with behaviors and did a show on campus. because it was a place where everybody lived. And I used fashion because as a former model, it really showed mannerisms. And in order to do it correctly, you had to display confidence. You had to walk a certain way. You had to talk a certain way. You had to carry yourself a certain way. And these young ladies had lost that through their life experiences. So... in doing this show, which actually the administration thought it was ludicrous. It was like, how in the world are you going to get these troubled girls? Because that's how they saw them. But I didn't see them like that. I looked beyond where they were and saw what they could be. And now I need to bring them to that point. So I bought in designer clothes that I designed and made myself. It was a whole clip. Yes.
Lara Valentin
We can say you extend the hands to them to raise them. It's a type of education.
Carmen Vaughn
Exactly. And I like how you said education because I educated through what was a creative, innovative. It was very innovative. So it was hands-on. So I was able to get them to actually. demonstrate what they thought they could not do. And as a result, not only did their self-esteem go up, not only did they work hard to walk right, speak right, and present themselves correctly, it showed them what they could do, what they could be. And then when they, we had guests, I mean, the house was packed. I mean, so many people came. administration all the way from the top showed up to see this because they couldn't believe it. Not only did it do an outstanding job, but it literally changed their perspective about themselves, knowing that you are not identified by your mistakes. You're only identified by what you can achieve. And that's what you put your mind to do. And just like you achieve this, you can achieve other things, but behaviors. how you present yourself, what you say, that is going to be what you create as your identity, not on the outside. It starts with you on the inside first.
Lara Valentin
Yes, it's so beautiful. And if I have to do a summary, it's okay, now I'm on this point, I want to do this. And even if it's very different from what I am. It's because of your demonstration, different example, you show to them what is possible.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes.
Lara Valentin
The life possibility. And you ponder the situation and you bring them to a new point of view. Yes. A new way to see their life.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes.
Lara Valentin
So, yes, it's a type of education like a mentor,
Carmen Vaughn
like a mentor. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I saw after I moved on from that position years ago, I saw one of the ladies that's also in my book, the young, young, young girl that's now she's grown up. And I was engaged to be married and saw her in a mall. And she said, you know, my mating name. and she was calling you know miss carmen and she said it's me you remember me and i said oh my goodness yes i have pain i am doing well and she said i remember everything about you i am you know she said i she said she even spiritually had changed i gave my life to christ I have new friends. I do, you know, I'm doing really well. Thank you. And I couldn't have been, you know, I couldn't have been more ecstatic. I was so excited because that one life can change many other lives around them and pass it forward of what the possibilities could be when you put your mind to it to be a better you. Yeah.
Lara Valentin
So it's not a way to change everything, but it's a way to choose another way, another road for your life. And it's in conscious. It's something you do if people can show you, OK, this is you now and you will be you in the future, but a different type of you. And you can reach your goal. by this way.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes.
Lara Valentin
And you talk about this group, but do you have professional experience in your past? You can share with us. Why I ask you that? I have professional people in my audience. So do you have... a professional experience in which good or bad behaviors or etiquettes, professional etiquettes had an impact.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes. I like how you phrased that because professionally, it was like I was a counselor there. And so that impact was more or less. outside of myself. But when you talk professionally, me in the book, in one of the chapters, I was in New York and I was invited to do a layout in Essence Magazine for the college issue. And there was a peer, not a friend, it was a peer. who went to school with me. I was in college during the time. And while we were there, I knew for myself that being, well, I was modeling locally. So I had already had some exposure. But one of the things that I was taught as a model was your behavior and how you present yourself was very important. So being in New York and I'm dealing with this. you know, national magazine, it was even more important that the way I present myself with the people. And so as a result of my manners, as a result of knowing how to handle myself around the, you know, professional staff that was preparing me for photo shoots, because, you know, that I spent a lot of time with the photo shoots. I did one, I did like a stand in. appearance on a, it was filming a talk show right beside us and they need to stand in. I just happened to be getting a little bit of lunch and they was like, Hey, you can come over here. And so just, that's just to give you a little backdrop. Well, the peer that came with me, she was in another area, but things didn't go so well for her because she exemplified, she showed bad behavior. At the time, I didn't know this. At the time, I didn't realize what was going on.
Lara Valentin
Can I ask you something? She didn't use good behaviors because she didn't know how to do it or because she decided to have bad behaviors?
Carmen Vaughn
That's an excellent question because I never thought about that. Because I... Bye. had already been exposed to what the expectation of a model is on the local level. And then here I am doing this national magazine layout. But she, now that I think about it, no, she didn't have that same exposure. But there's certain basic manners and certain things that come with how to be cordial and polite. You got different levels of etiquette. And basic etiquette, things like that was lost for her. And as a result, it didn't pan out. too well for her as how the staff received her. You still have to maintain good behavior, even on the basic level. Don't take for granted that being cordial and polite doesn't mean anything. It means a lot because that could make the difference of you performing well or performing bad. Getting a job. or losing a job and understanding what's expected of you on a professional level, even if that's not a career that's long-term.
Lara Valentin
During my workshop or my conference, one thing I say every time is that etiquette, social etiquette or professional etiquette, is a type of language, an idiom. And in a language, you have, like you said, different level. You can speak like a current language, like if you speak with your kids or with your husband or friends, and you choose a language to speak with your manager, with your director or the hierarchy. And if you have to speak, for example, to the president of your country. some people in the very high level in the society, you will choose a certain type of vocabulary. And you will be able to do that if you receive, if you have all this level in your mind. If you have a lack of this, you can use the first level or the second level. But if your behavior is good, you can have connection with people. So learn more is better. But if you apply just simple things that you say, basic things, for me, it's the first step and it's better than doing nothing.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes. Yeah, it's very important to exemplify, you know, self-respect and give respect, even to authority. You don't have to like them, but you do have to respect them. And that's just human nature that you should exemplify at all times.
Lara Valentin
Now, in your life, how do you cultivate or pass on savoir-vivre and savoir-être? In English, we can say how to live, how to say, how to do in your professional area or personal life.
Carmen Vaughn
personal life etiquette was very important for me and my daughters adult children and growing up it was very important so the school that they attended they went to mother-daughter teas we did it was very important that my daughters participate because on how to present themselves at a formal tea then they actually executed you know, actually carried it out at a club that hosts tea parties. And they did tea parties. Even at home, we did a restaurant. And for my husband, we wanted to, you know, do fine dining. So he came home. We had a maitre d'. We had all the fine dining layout of the dishes. And we proceeded to role play in a real sense our dinner and showed etiquette, table settings and greetings. And that's what we did. And that was the creative way of, you know, my husband and I teaching them the importance of etiquette. And we did it at an early age. So when it went out in public, because we was often invited to formal dinners, we were often in restaurants. And I wanted my children. even at a young age, single digits before they became teenagers. To present themselves correctly. Because when you show how to care yourself, people look at you differently. And you don't fit stigmas.
Lara Valentin
It's a way to infuse some things to your kids from you.
Carmen Vaughn
Yeah.
Lara Valentin
Step by step from the child to adult area for her.
Carmen Vaughn
Exactly. Exactly.
Lara Valentin
So do you think we can learn at every step of the way?
Carmen Vaughn
our life absolutely matter of fact when you stop learning you stop growing if you stop you stop achieving you stop achieving you're not living you're existing oh it's so beautiful thank you it's
Lara Valentin
a lesson it's a lesson of life a life lesson yes would you like to share a value or a since sense to our audience.
Carmen Vaughn
It is important that you invest in yourself. Confidence goes a long way and with confidence people perceive you differently and how you want to be perceived is up to you. When people first meet you in three seconds they have already summed up what they are seeing, not keeping up with. things like trends and what other people do. That's not you. You are important to give who you are as an individual.
Lara Valentin
So it's our responsibility.
Carmen Vaughn
Yes.
Lara Valentin
We have self-responsibility. It's a good term in English. I don't know.
Carmen Vaughn
No, it's a very good term in English. Please don't let the mistakes define you. Please don't let your current status say your mistakes and where you are. Just show you where you need to go and what you need to work on so you can continue to achieve. And let that be a stepping stone. It gives you the blueprint of what you need to do or not to do. Make the adjustment and keep moving forward.
Lara Valentin
We have to be aware about what people see at the first time. We have to maintain a certain type of behaviors to reach one day our purpose, to be focused on our purpose in our society, in our environments, because we are not alone. We need others to function, to act together. We have to be careful about our... image and our impact on others.
Carmen Vaughn
They are not you. You are you.
Lara Valentin
Thank you Carmen for this moment. Thank you, yes, to join us in this podcast and I hope you had a good moment with us. I hope my audience has had a good moment.
Carmen Vaughn
I really appreciate it. you invite me. It is truly an honor. People don't know the treasure you hold in doing what you do to bring back and reintroduce what has been lost when it comes to your help for this generation and the generations to come that's willing to embrace it. And I really believe it's a comeback style class. and elegance.
Lara Valentin
Thank you, Carmen. Thank you, everybody, to listen to my podcast, to be here with Carmen Vaughn, a very famous author and speaker.